Didn’t get to ride today.  The weather was warm alright, expected to be 80+ (don’t know what it actually got up to), but with 40-mph gusts, I wasn’t willing to take any chances on a third crash.  I still have scars from the last one.  Had to make friends with the Gazelle upstairs again while watching “I (Almost) Got Away With It” for 30 minutes.  Not exactly the same but better than nothing.

I’m mentally beat down and living for the weekend again this week just so I can get out of the house, even to our usual mundane haunts.  Again, it’s better than nothing.

I know all these posts sound negative but it’s the only way I know to vent.  If I try to talk to an actual person like this, they would rightfully run screaming from the room.  I can’t afford a shrink, so there you go.  Better than nothing.

Thank God my sense of humor is still intact.

Not much to write about today.

Thankful that Craig did well during and after his procedure and that he was able to come home this morning.  Love you bro…

Rode today again in the wind, this time with an added bonus of a brown sky.  As my fellow cyclist friend Donna said, “getting a free exfoliating facial.”  Love it.  Needless to say, I didn’t ride as far, only 10.6 miles.  Still felt good to release that tension.

Randy’s boss’ mother passed away over the weekend and we went to the visitation.

It’s strange because it seems like every time we turn around, it’s a hospital, it’s a retirement home, it’s a funeral.  Is this what aging is about?  Really?

Stay thirsty, my friends.  I know I do.

Feeling somewhat better today, thanks in part to being able to ride again.  For those who are reading this who aren’t in my circle of Facebook friends, Randy and I started cycling in March of last year.  I needed to lose weight and we both were getting to the point of not being able to jog because of joint problems.  I never enjoyed jogging anyway, so it was a good option for me.  We started out riding a couple of mountain bikes from Walmart.  It was tough at first, but as time went on, the miles started adding up and the rides became longer.  Our interest piqued, the next step was a visit to a great local bike shop, Biketown.  Soon we became the proud owners of a couple of Trek bikes.  Hardly a weekend went by that we weren’t at the shop, adding more accessories and clothing.  By the end of summer, we had ridden in two events (the first a 27-mile ride, the second a 68-miler), I had crashed twice (once at 20 mph), and I had dropped over 20 pounds.  I never thought I could accomplish anything like that at age 48.

I find that even when I don’t feel like suiting up and going out there, by the time I’m done I feel great.  It’s a stress reliever.

Today my brother-in-law, Craig, had a heart cath procedure.  He’s my age.  They found extensive blockage in the lateral anterior descending artery and placed a stent.  I mention this because it’s another event in a seemingly endless series of negatives that have surrounded mine and Randy’s families in the last year and a half since Randy’s dad passed away.

Yes, there have been good times and I’m grateful, but there has definitely been a dark cloud of sadness and stress over us all.  I’m ready for this darkness to leave but not sure it ever will.

Thankfully, now that spring is on its way, those rides will become more frequent again.  None too soon.

It’s hard to believe that I haven’t blogged in over a year. So much has happened in the past year and a half that has changed how I feel about life. Wondering if I should open this door again or if it will just end up being another negative. The most I managed to do so far was change themes yesterday during an extremely sad day due to the loss of my loving little buddy, our boxer, Wylie. It’s the first time I’ve actually seen a living being die. I don’t think I can make a decision, even one so trivial, with my current mindset. Leaving it for now.

…aligns with the dreams I had last night, as in bizarre.

View from my front yard - 01/18/2011