Bad Day
Yesterday was horrible. I hate to even go into it again here but I need to write about something, I guess.
We had made the difficult decision to have Willow put to sleep. Her breathing was rapid, she constantly was in the sphinx position (or steamboat, as we call it), and didn’t seem to have any quality of life left. With cats its almost impossible to tell when they’re in pain because they’re so efficient. Randy had dug a grave for her the day before (yes, on his birthday). He wouldn’t let me go with him to the vet because he knew I couldn’t handle it at all, so I went to work and barely managed to function between the tears. I felt like a truck had run over me, and I looked about the same. Not that I cared.
Willow’s appointment was at 2:15. I asked Randy to call me when it was over. Every time the phone rang I felt an overwhelming sense of dread wash over me. Finally, around 2:45 the call came. I closed my office door, knowing I’d have to release some of my grief again. I answered the call and Randy said that Willow was coming home…alive! Dr. Eitelman examined her thoroughly, and although she is definitely deteriorating he did not think she was suffering and still had some time left. He gave us more prednisone and instructed a daily dosing, rather than the every-other-day regimen. Her lungs and organs were free of fluid. Her rapid breathing is a result of anemia from the disease but he said it doesn’t seem to be causing her any discomfort. I was surprised and somewhat relieved, although I know she might only have a month or so left before it will really be time to say goodbye.
By the time I got home from work, I was emotionally drained. I sat at the foot of the stairs and looked out the glass door as the day’s last beams of sunshine streamed through. Willow climbed up to the second step and lay down, watching me. Wylie and Gracie soon joined us. I sat quietly, exhausted from stress.
Each day is a gift. I’m glad Willow got a reprieve, however brief.
reading this made me cry… Wish I could come right over and give you a hug. :hug:
awwww, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I know how you feel. It hurts to lose a member of your family whether they are the two or four legged variety.