I h ad my monthly set of scans today. The news is netural.

The tumors haven’t grown, but they aren’t shriking any more either. When we started this chemo cocktail my tumor markers were 18,000 something. Today they were 6,000 something. Basically, what I’m saying is the drugs they were giving me aren’t working anymore. I’m looking at it like this: when you go to the doctor time after time, and you get X drug, after a while your body gets used to it. My body has gotten used to having Lucavorin, Avastin and 5FU. (You have to love any researcher who names their drug anything FU).

The doctors plan is to give me a break from chemo until after the first of the year. My first appointment after Jan. 1, we are going to start a new chemo cocktail. Needless to say, I am worried. I don’t know what the side effects of this cocktail are going to be. I hope they continue to be annoying and not bad. She told me what we were going to give me, but thanks to my chemo brain, I can’t remember what she said. I still have total confidence in my doctor. Like I told her today, you’ve don 2 fellowships at M. D. Anderson, you have to know your stuff to do a fellowship there.

I still feel like God has put me in her care for a reason. I still don’t think this is the thing that will kill me. I may die from complications from cancer, but I don’t think the cancer will be the actual cause of my death. I still think my purpose here on earth has not been finished, yet. I have know idea what God’s plan for me is in regards to this, but I do know there is a plan, and it is a perfect plan. Me, being an inperfect human. may not understand, but then, I think that’s where faith comes into the picture.

If my religon paragraph has offended anyone, I appologize, I truely don’t mean to belly ache, offend or be some sort of pest.

Please, pray that the new cocktail works and the side effects are not bad.