Current Mood: Confused

As of yesterday, I have 2 weeks left at my workplace. I have slowly started detaching myself, mentally and physically, while trying to maintain a good work ethic. This is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. Although I hate my situation up here, I truly will miss the job security and most of the people. I have a box in my office that I have been placing items in that I will be taking home with me. It looks really naked and sad already in my little space, like something is dying.  Even the keyboard I’m using came from home, when my boss tried to unstick the keys on my other one with cleaner, causing it to stop working completely. So, my keyboard that is hooked up now is going with me. I found one in a vacant office that wasn’t being used, and I’ll have to hook it up to my PC before I go. This is how we operate.

What’s really funny is that now that I’m leaving, my bosses have added another Xerox 4635 laser printer (newer but still a refurb), and have called a tech in (gasp!) to fix the other one. Strange, they never did that for me. Why am I not surprised? We actually had ONE good production day yesterday, simply because of one simple act.

They still haven’t hired a replacement for my position. I guess they feel they will save money by not paying another salary. I’m wondering how it’s going to go for them. I really do wish everyone well, but I fear that some things never change for the better at this company.

On Tuesday, I was severely depressed. Achy, teary depressed. I am worried, not only about my abilities at being an M.T., but also how we’re going to manage financially. We have juggled some accounts around, and I question our judgment in doing so.  I’m typing like a fiend in the evenings, doing at least 5 reports a night.  I’m terrified I’m going to run out of money before I can start working again.

I’m wanting to do the Amphion Step Up Program, which consists of 200 MORE reports after I graduate (Honors or High Honors required to participate) from the course.  It’s hard for me to imagine at this point in time.  I’m only 29% done with Clinics, then I have Intermediates and Advanced before I can take the final exam.

I am so ready for something to be normal! This year has been filled with extremes…not only in my life but everyone else’s, it seems.

Nine more working days, then the rug will be yanked out from under me. Let’s hope I still have a sense of balance.