I really don’t know what has happened to me over the years, but I really have come to dislike Christmas (other than the spiritual symbolism).

I always loved Christmas as a child and have many happy memories.  It wasn’t just the gifts.  It was so many other things that enchanted me.  Now, I don’t want to have anything to do with any of it.  I think one reason is that bad things always seem to happen to people this time of year.  I also worked at a direct mail company for 24 years, and this was the most hellish time of year production-wise.  It killed my soul.  I also believe that Christmas is really meant for children and I chose not to have them.  That is probably a factor in my Grinchiness about the holiday.

I would rather choose several charities and give a donation in recognition of what Christmas means, rather than stressing over what to buy people, standing in lines, being in crowded malls, ad nauseum.  I never know what to get anyone.  It’s not that I don’t have a heart, I just don’t have the stomach for it.  I don’t know how to be someone I’m not…so I hope my family and friends will forgive my strange ways.