I called Susan on Tuesday and she asked me if she could call me back in a few minutes. Of course, she didn’t…which I expected. I called her again yesterday and she told me she had a bad night on Monday night. Yesterday, when I called, she was alone. I really don’t think that’s a good idea. In my mind, hospice care should be around the clock. I asked if her pain was being managed and she said it was, but I’m not sure I believe her. Three different times, she asked me to “hold on a sec” and I finally asked her what she was doing. Each time she came back on the line, she was short of breath. She said she was trying to sit up. I think she finally succeeded, and I asked her if she was comfortable, but she said there really wasn’t such a thing at this point.

She told me her edema is much worse. I told her maybe they need to up her Lasix dosage or give her an additional med. She didn’t have much to say, other than the fluid accumulated in her body made it very difficult to sit or stand. Again, I am not very happy with the care she is getting. I don’t believe in part-time hospice. She didn’t have much to say, which isn’t so surprising, but I’m wondering if she is angry at me for not being with her. Probably not, but I asked her if she was tired of everyone calling her. She denied that, but I hate to bother her with a ringing phone. Either way, I feel guilty and helpless. Now, I am really just praying for an end to her suffering and for God to lift her up in His loving arms and release her from the prison that she is in.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 10th, 2008 at 5:38 am and is filed under Susan. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.