My “children,” Gracie and Wylie have serious issues. Wylie enjoys dining on cat poop from the litter box (which I have prevented by keeping the door to my office, i.e., cat’s room, almost closed when I can’t watch him). Gracie, on the other hand, has a penchant for ballpoint ink. One day I made the mistake of leaving my checkbook register open. When I returned to do my bank statement, she had licked the numbers off. She has even been known to rake my billfold open to get to it. We don’t dare leave a pen out with the cap off. She licks that, too.

Both of these spoiled brats get Hill’s Science Diet (read: expensive). Guess they get tired of the same ol’, same ol’. Don’t you think they could come up with something better than poop and ink?

Sometimes I think animals are just as crazy as people. OK, maybe not.