I opened my Archived webmail this morning and just happened to see an email from Susan. It made me realize even more what a big whiner I am for no reason at all. When I read this, it’s hard to believe she died 4 months later. Susan, I can hear you. Thanks for the kick in the butt. (I can almost see her smiling at that statement and giving me hell about something else.) Somehow, I feel compelled to let her voice be heard again. Hope you don’t mind.

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Sunday, December 16, 2007 10:37 AM
 
Hi.

I wanted to give you the latest update.

Wednesday I went to the doctor. She started me on chemo again that afternoon. The tumors have grown a little, but the markers are exactly where they were. All of this to say the scans looked (in Dr. Blakely’s own words) “really, really good”. She was concerned about the amount of pain I have been having without the chemo. She was really upset that I spent my birthday on the couch dealing with the pain. (Lot’s of people came by with all sorts of goodies, so it wasn’t a bad birthday, just painful). Actually, I ‘m glad she started the chemo again. The break would have been nice, but atleast I feel like I’m doing something.

We started on the new drugs. I felt pretty good until yesterday. Freddie and the Freeloaders were up for a day of letting me know they are still around. I couldn’t breath without those little suckers hurting. Today, it’s better. They’re still upset, but it’s more like a pulled muscle than real pain. Herman is taking care of the pain for today. But it’s cold, so that’s no surprise.

When I was taking chemo, they always give me benedril to counteract any side effects I may have. Needless to say, it puts me to sleep within five minutes of the nurse starting it. When I woke up from the benedril nap, I was in some serious pain. This very nice lady who was sitting next to me watched me try to get comfortable for a few minutes. We have talked several times and she reached out and petted me on the arm and said, “I don’t think you’re doing to well right this minute’. I told her I wasn’t, and I told her I was in some serious pain. She told me I needed to let the nurse know. I told her I thought the nurse had gone to lunch. Right at that time the n urse appreared and asked me what was wrong. I asked if she could call Dr. Blakely down to the chemo room so she could see what I’ve been dealing with. Dr. Blakley was there in a few seconds. She took one look at me and said, “You’re hurting pretty bad aren’t you hon?” I told her that this was what I was having to put up with and why I had spend basically the past two weeks on the couch eating pain killers. She got me a dilaudid shot and actually gave it to me herself. I know that sounds like I had a really bad chemo session, but now she has actually seen what I’ve been having to deal with and I think that’s a really good thing. SHe has prescribed some heavy duty long acting apin patches so I can actually have some sort of a life and not spend this time of the year on the couch hurting. Anyway, a couple of minutes after she gave me the shot, the lady next to me patted my arm again and asked if I felt any better. I told her I was pretty much easy, but I was really enjoying the loopy feeling the pain killer was giving me. Next thing I knew it was two hours later and I was finished with my chemo. (Pain killers are my friend!)

How are y’all doing? I hope you are having a great Holiday season. I wanted to go to Ole Miss and see the choral program, but Herman had other ideas. I’ve pretty much been listening to the classics on XM radio. If Johnny Mathis singing “Chestnuts roasting on an Open FIre” (AKA the Christmas Song) doesn’t get you in the mood, nothing will.

Let me hear from you. If it’s a bad time I’ll let you know, or I’ll just go to sleep listening. (Once again, Pain Killers are my friend).

S