An Ogre Named Envy
While we’re on the subject of vices, mine specifically, there’s one in particular that I’ve always had a hard time with.
I’ll learn and feel like I’m doing better, then suddenly someone’s situation turns me greener than Shrek with jealousy. It’s about as silly as Shrek (although I DO love him), but more importantly, envy is toxic and negative…and guess what? It’s completely unfounded. What’s great for someone else isn’t necessarily the right thing for me, regardless of my feelings to the contrary at the time. I have actually had to find a lot of that out for myself the hard way. Believe me, it’s not pretty.
I think a lot of it stems from when I was growing up and money was tight. Now I don’t want anyone to think I’m materialistic but I remember the times when we lived in a rent house where, in the wintertime, you could see the curtains move from the cold air blowing against the window. We didn’t suffer, far from it, but my parents fought constantly about money. No, it can’t buy happiness but it certainly helps one feel a bit more stable.
Unfortunately, insecurity has always been a big part of who I am and I guess I tend to equate perks with happiness or stability. It’s just not true. I can see that when I step away, which is something that’s difficult to do sometimes but totally worth it.
Hmmm. There must be something to that “Thou Shalt Not Covet” inscription on the tablet that Moses brought down from Mount Sinai.
