OK, if you’ve been reading all of this lately, you have no doubt in your mind how weird I really am. At least I’m honest and don’t have any agendas. I’d rather just be who I am than to pretend I’m someone else.

I’m feeling better today. The big picture is really a lot larger than my worries. I am, however, beginning to wonder if I’m bipolar and not just clinically depressed and anxious. I don’t want to think about that right now, as–you got it–that’s another worry.

Wonder when the butterfly truck will be pulling up in my driveway. :o)

February 10th, 2010 by Indelibrella | No Comments »

We went to have our taxes done Saturday, whereupon we found out we have to pay for the first time in our lives due to the government’s brilliant idea of a “stimulus” without taking out enough for taxes. Not just a small oversight in our case, but the better part of a grand. After heat pump repairs and our other bills, this was pretty much the straw that broke the camel’s back.

After that ordeal, we went to Drug Emporium to get a couple of items and I had a total meltdown before we could even get out of the car.

We went home and Randy wanted to talk while we walked Wylie around the block, so I managed to put a coat and tennis shoes on. He told me how he thought we could juggle things to come up with the money. Didn’t make me feel much better, so I spent the rest of the day in bed, only getting up for bathroom breaks and to eat.

Sunday, I felt a little better. We had both thought about going to church. I was afraid I’d be struck by lightning, but somehow I survived. It was good for our hearts to hear something positive and to see smiling faces for a change. I hate that we tend to rely on God only when things aren’t going right, but unlike so many things inherent to this material world, He never lets us down.

Now THAT’S what I call a stimulus.

I’m still feeling really beat up right now, as is Randy. I hope we can climb out of this pit of despair once again. We really are blessed but we’re having a hard time seeing through the muck.

February 9th, 2010 by Indelibrella | No Comments »

I just sent off my resume’ for part-time weekend work. I’m tired of our financial situation, i.e., debt structure. Once we get our cars paid off, maybe we can breathe a little bit. I blame myself for my own material greed and I now I need to be a big girl and deal with it. Do I like it? No. I’ve never had to work 2 jobs before in my life. It’s funny how you think you’re going to be smarter as you grow older. Let me tell you, it’s not always the case. I don’t have a lot of regrets, but debt is definitely one of them. Only more time and perseverance will tell the tale.

February 4th, 2010 by Indelibrella | No Comments »

There’s something to be said for being nice. Although Wylie wanted to eat the repairman yesterday, Randy was (as always) very nice to him. Not in a fake way at all, just sincere. The estimate to fix our heat pump was about $300. He charged us $211, saying it wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be to deal with. Hmmm. We couldn’t believe our good fortune. It’s not like us to have luck with anything, so we breathed a sigh of relief. A hundred dollars can make a big difference.

On a slightly different subject, we’re thinking about prepping the wallpaper in Randy’s bathroom so we can paint over it this Saturday. It may have to wait ’til next weekend, though. We’re in between paydays again and have to go get our taxes done first thing Saturday morning. I always dread that. I’m hoping we don’t have to pay. If we get some back, maybe we could put some back into our ailing house.

Never again will I be “car poor.” I love our cars but regret going into so much debt. Lesson learned.

February 2nd, 2010 by Indelibrella | No Comments »

Our house is old and tired. It’s needing a lot of things done, mostly cosmetic but not all. At the moment, our heat pump fan is locked up completely. According to what Randy read online at DIY, it’s not really something easily tackled on your own. Time to call in reinforcements, i.e., $$$. Sigh. It’s one of the joys of home ownership.

Our kitchen faucet is barely operable. Randy managed to rig it once, but it’s on its last legs. Our dishwasher is about to give up the ghost as well. It’s horrible and barely cleans our dishes.

Looks-wise, our house is in dire need of a major facelift. I don’t even know where to start here. Everything is dated and/or worn. I don’t know if we have the patience or skill to take this on without everything being a total disaster. We’ll have to if we want it done. Funny thing about finances…they seem to dictate everything.

Lord help us. We’re gonna need it.

February 1st, 2010 by Indelibrella | No Comments »